The Bible says a lot about husbands and their roles in marriage. In general, the Bible teaches that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This means that husbands are to be protective, supportive, and loving toward their wives. However, the Bible also warns husbands against being emotionally abusive. Emotional abuse can involve things like verbal insults, withholding love and affection, or making threats.
If you are in a marriage where you are emotionally abused by your husband, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many other women have gone through the same thing. You can find comfort and support from other women who have been in your situation by joining a support group or reading a book like “Battered Women’s Syndrome: The Hidden War” by Lenore Walker.
You also need to remember that you are not responsible for your husband’s abusive behavior. It is not your fault. You can’t change him, and you can’t make him stop being abusive. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself and get out of an abusive relationship. If you are considering leaving an abusive husband, it is important to have a safety plan in place. This means
Abusive Husbands in the Bible
The Bible has a lot to say about abusive husbands. Several passages specifically mention husbands who abuse their wives. Here are a few of those passages:
Ephesians 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, purifying her by washing with water through the word and presenting her to himself as a radiant church, without stain, wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as if they were their bodies. He who loves his wife is in love with himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he fed and cared for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
These passages make it clear that God does not condone abusive husbands. He specifically commands husbands to love and respect their wives. If you are in an abusive marriage, know that you are not alone. Many other women are in the same situation. And know that God loves you and wants what is best for you.
What the Bible Says About Emotionally Abusive Husbands
The Bible has a lot to say about emotionally abusive husbands. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize that emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. Emotional abuse can cause lasting damage to your self-esteem and your ability to trust people.
The Bible tells us that God is love. 1 John 4:8 says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” If we are to follow God’s example, then we must love our spouses, even when they are difficult to love. Unfortunately, many husbands take advantage of their wives love and use it as a weapon to control them.
The Bible has a lot to say about how husbands are to treat their wives. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This verse tells us that husbands are to love their wives selflessly, just as Christ loved the church. Christ’s love for the church was not based on what the church did or didn’t do. He loved her unconditionally. Likewise, husbands are to love their wives regardless of their actions.
1 Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker sex, since they are heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” This verse tells us that husbands are to be considerate of their wives and treat them with respect. Often, emotionally abusive husbands will use their wives’ weaknesses against them. They will belittle their wives and make them feel inferior. This is not how God intends husbands to treat their wives.
Proverbs 31:11–12 says, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” “She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.” This verse tells us that a wife who is trustworthy and does good, not harm, to her husband will be blessed. An emotionally abusive husband is not trustworthy and does not do good to his wife. He harms her emotionally, which can have lasting effects.
How to Deal with an Emotionally Abusive Husband According to the Bible
The Bible has a lot to say about how to deal with an emotionally abusive husband. First and foremost, God commands us to love our husbands (Ephesians 5:25). This means that we are to show them respect, even when they don’t deserve it. We are also to be patient with them and to forgive them when they wrong us (Colossians 3:13).
If your husband is emotionally abusive, you may feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time. You may be afraid to speak your mind or to do anything that might set him off. But you don’t have to live in fear. God is with you, and He will give you the strength to deal with your husband’s abuse.
If you are being emotionally abused, the first thing you should do is talk to your husband about it. Tell him how his words and actions make you feel. Be assertive but not aggressive. If he refuses to listen or to change his behavior, then you may need to seek help from a counselor or a support group for victims of domestic violence.
You should also take steps to protect yourself from your husband’s abuse. This may mean creating a “safety plan” in case of an emergency. It may also mean getting a restraining order if your husband has threatened you or harmed you in any way.
Remember, you are not alone. Some people can help you and will support you. And most importantly, God is with you. He will give you the strength to deal with your husband’s abuse and to protect yourself from it.
Bible Verses About Emotionally Abusive Husbands
The Bible has a lot to say about emotionally abusive husbands. Here are some of the most important verses to keep in mind:
Proverbs 30:11-13
“There are some who are so cruel that they will not let the woman they married get away with anything.” They are always finding fault. Others are afraid of their wives and treat them with respect.
Ephesians 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, purifying her by washing with water through the word and presenting her to himself as a radiant church, without stain, wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as if they were their bodies. He who loves his wife is in love with himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he fed and cared for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise, the wife should fulfill her marital duty to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker sex, since they are also heirs of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your
Dealing With an Emotionally Abusive Husband: What Does the Bible Say?
When you think of abuse, physical violence is usually the first thing that comes to mind. But emotional abuse can be just as damaging—and sometimes even more so. Emotional abuse is any kind of behavior that is designed to control, intimidate, or otherwise manipulate another person through the use of fear, humiliation, or verbal or emotional assaults.
and it is far more common than you might think. Emotional abuse is a major factor in nearly half of all abusive relationships, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
If you’re married to an emotionally abusive husband, you may feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time, never quite sure what will set him off. You may feel like you’re constantly being criticized, belittled, or otherwise put down. And you may feel like you’re desperately trying to please him, but nothing you do is ever good enough.
If this sounds familiar, you may be wondering what the Bible has to say about emotional abuse. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is not specifically addressed in the Bible. However, several principles can be applied to this situation.
First and foremost, the Bible is clear that marriage is to be a relationship characterized by love, mutual respect, and selflessness. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
This is the ideal that we are to strive for in our marriages. However, we live in a fallen world, and not all marriages live up to this ideal. Some marriages are characterized by conflict, resentment, and even abuse.
If you are in an emotionally abusive marriage, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many women find themselves in this situation, and there is help available.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you need help finding a safe place to stay, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Joseph Bates is a teacher at the University of Holy Cross. He has served on the staff of Northern Baptist and United Methodist churches in Tampa, Ohio, and Florida.
